I climb in my green Subaru impreza. I really love this car. I bought it when I came back to town as a tangible representation of my fresh start. Plus, it's just plain fun to drive.
My hands grip the wheel as I pull out of my spot and start to make my way through town. The streets are empty and most of the lights are out as I drive through town. Its summer time and school is out, so there really isn't a lot going on. Seeing the town at night brings back memories of how much I like this town, despite not growing up here it still feels so familiar, like home.
I reach the edge of town and head east on Rt. 101. My thoughts start to wander to the party trying to plan for what to expect at the party. I'm not mentally prepared for this type of situation. Being around other people. I've been avoiding just this type of thing as much as possible since arriving in town. I'm still not comfortable being around other people, especially those I don't know. Then again, I don't really know a lot of people in town anymore - makes it easy to just blend in and disappear into the crowd.
I turn onto the unmarked dirt road that feels vaguely familiar. I feel like I should have more memories of the parties from our college days here, but nothing comes to mind at all. Perhaps in time, at least thats what the doctor says anyway.
I start to see cars lining the road, cluing me in that I'm in the right place. I continue a little farther down and find a place where I can turn around so I can easily make my escape with Lauren. I also don't want to get blocked in and have to stay any longer than I really need to. I pull off to the side and turn off the car.
I grip the steering wheel with both hands and look in my rearview mirror. You can do this, you can do this. It won't be that bad. In and out. I'll be home in no time. Once I've pumped myself up enough, I swallow to force down the anxiety, take a deep breath, and exit the car to go in search of Lauren.
I walk back up the road a bit and see the pathway marked by the two large boulders. I walk between them and a few feet past the line of trees, the path opens up onto the beach. Just over the first dune I can see the glow of campfires. There are more people here than I expected. I walk over the bridge and stand on the outskirts of the crowd scanning for Lauren.
She sees me before I locate her and I hear her yell from somewhere in the crowd.
"Lil! You're here!"
I look around trying to find her. My eyes aren't 100% adjusted to the darkness yet. Finally I see her running towards me in the crowd. She's looking very bohemian - her long brown hair hanging loose around her shoulders, flowing halter shirt, and short white shorts. Her shoes are expertly laces up her legs. She's always been the fashionista of all my friends and she's living up to expectations here. I pale in comparison which is completely fine with me. She has a huge smile on her face as she approaches, beer in hand, and she wraps her arm in mine.
"Alright, let's get going."
"Lil, I'm not ready to leave yet. Besides, there's someone I want you to meet."
Before I can even protest she's pulling me through the crowd - the absolute last place I want to be. I'm squirming unfortably to avoid touching anyone as we float through the crowd. Thankfully it goes quickly and I find myself on the opposite side of the fire amidst a small group of strangers.
Lauren giddily pulls me over to a couple guys standing in front of the group of boulders that seperates the dunes and the soft sand of the beach.
One of the guys looks up and smiles at Lauren as we approach.
"Hey, that was quick!"
"Yeah, I found her pretty quickly," Lauren chirps back with a huge grin on her face. "Lil - this is Daniel."
I nod in his direction, force a smile, and quickly say hi back.
Lauren quickly shifts and positions me in front of guy number two. "And this is his friend Brian."
Oh come on Lau, really? Not here, not now. She's been trying since I got back to town to set me up with someone. I was pretty vague on the details of what happened to me when I came back and she has it in her mind that I just need to get over Justin by moving onto someone else, like my heart is broken or something. If only it was my heart that was broken...that would be so much easier.
I smile faintly in his direction. Brian's blue eyes light up. He's got that surfer guy look that a lot of guys in town seem to have lately. Sandy blonde hair, polo shirt, and shorts. Not my type at all if I was even looking. This isn't going to go well.
Brian takes a step closer. "How long have you known Lauren? She talks about you a lot." He looks at me, studying my every move, looking for an opening.
I shift unfortably, avoiding his eyes. "Ummm, a long time. Since middle school actually I think," I mumble.
He obviously isn't a good reader of body language. He takes my answering as a sign that I want to talk to him I guess. He takes a step closer and starts talking quickly. I'm not interested at all. I'm glancing around to get a sense of my surroundings when I feel someones eyes on me. I glance around and meet his eyes - standing back from the crowd several feet is another guy - leaning against the boulders, smiling.
He's obviously noticed that I'm not interested in this guy and is finding some humor in the show or something. At least someone else is observant around here. He's obscured by shadows, so I can't quite make out details, but the thing that catches my attention is his well defined, muscular arms. He's wearing a t-shirt, and the sleeves end just as the cusp of his arm muscles. I think I can faintly see the lines of a tattoo on his arm. It's surprisingly beautiful to me for some reason.
I'm distracted and studying this guy who's somehow caught my attention. I glance back and catch his eyes. He smiles and I'm embarrassed so I glance away quickly. Great, now he probably thinks I was checking him out or something. I look down and around trying to keep from looking at him again, but I can't resist myself. He's still studying me, eyes burning. I catch his eyes again.
Before I realize what's happening, I feel an arm around my shoulder squeeze and start to pull me. No, no, no. Not again. My fight reflex kicks in and I grab the hand off my shoulder, turn and take a step back preparing to twist the arm in the move the self defense instructor taught me. Before I make the full turn and inflict real pain, I come back to my sense and realize it was just Brian trying to make a move. I let go of his hand mid-stream, and step backwards.
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