I trot down the stairs and leave a wide gap between Justin as I scoot around the table to grab my shoes. He's been a different person since that night when he lost it. Apologetic, angelic, overly sweet. I can't shake the memories, the horror, the feelings. And the bruises are still there as nagging proof.
I would leave, but it's not that easy. No family or real friends around I could go to. It's all his friends and I don't have any family left anyway. My car isn't in great shape and despite my job not being the best job, at least it's a job. It's not easy to get up and leave. I feel trapped in a way. No where to turn. I can't really afford to go to a hotel, I don't have that much money I can easily access.
I'm pissed and not quite sure what I'm going to do. Justin's been giving me space, but trying his damnedest to make me stay. Begging, pleading. He's treating me nicer now than he did when we first got together, but I don't buy it, or trust it. I've read about the cycle of abuse and I'm on high alert.
I sit down to put on my shoes.
"Oh no, are you going running again?" he asks sounding annoyed like he usually does. Although not as annoyed as usual in his attempt to be sweet.
"Yes, I've told you a billion times. I'm training to run a marathon. And besides, running helps me clear my mind and think."
He stares down looking like a hurt dog. "I'm really truly sorry you know. I still have no idea what happened. Someone must have given me something I swear. I'll never hurt you again, I promise Dee. You believe me right? I love you." he implores as he rises to head over.
I shrug off his attempted embrace.
"Listen. It's cold out. Before you go, have some tea with me. I'll make you some. It will just take a minute."
Before I can object he scurries away to make me some tea. Fine, whatever. I stand and take a seat across the table from him.
Within moments a cup of tea is in front of me. I drink it in a couple long sips and then give it a chance to settle in my stomach before I head out.
"Where are you heading today?" he asks.
"I think I'll head down near the old General Store, towards town and then head back."
"Ok, just be careful," he says.
We sit in silence for a few minutes and then I stand to head out. "See you in a bit," I say as I open the door.
"You are coming back, right Dee? You wouldn't leave me, would you?" he asks, looking sad, begging with his eyes.
I don't answer and turn to leave.
The next thing I remember is waking up in darkness. It's cold and dark and it smells funny. As I come to my senses I can hear a steady beep, beep, beep. I try to move my hands and feel someone grab my wrists.
"Delilah, honey. Are you awake? I'm your nurse Betty."
"Nurse?" I ask confused and groggy.
"Yes, your in the hospital. There's been an accident."
No comments:
Post a Comment